Musings, tips and the occasional rant from the world of online dating.

August 21, 2005

Why I chose the eHarmony Dating Service?

by @ 8:44 pm. Filed under eHarmony, Online Dating

It just seemed like the right place. Most of the other online dating services all seemed more about getting a date. Having some fun. Not that I don’t want my dates to be fun. I was just looking for Fun with a Future. Still am!

When looking for someone to date, shouldn’t there be some consideration of the future possibilities. Not just the right now. The eHarmony system said to me, we know what is needed for a lasting relationship. We will match you with others that this can happen with. You go about seeing if there is any chemistry and build from there. Made sense to me. The idea of knowing that if you clicked with someone, you had a high likelihood of a long and fruitful relationship.

Yes, you get less of a selection, because you are only matched with those that you are very compatible. Some don’t like this aspect of eHarmony. They feel they might be missing out on someone. You may miss out on someone, someone that you had less probability of having a solid relationship with.

Besides most of us miss out on many who could be good for us when using other dating sites. We think we know what we want in another and we proceed by narrowing down the field of prospects. We use the dating sites search feature and select others based on their education level, body type, hair color, income level or height. Just imagine how many possibly great people you could miss out on over an inch in height or cause their hair isn’t blonde. This all seems silly to me. But this is how we use online dating sites.

Not that this is any different than real life. We make judgments on others we see all the time based on these same types of criteria. Instantly putting them in a datable or not datable category. The Internet has just made it easier to do on a wider scale.

It is not that this doesn’t happen at a site like eHarmony. It does. You just do it on a small scale because of the fewer matches. But the matches have some substance behind them at eHarmony. Matches at other dating sites are all about criteria we think we want. Not the criteria that we probably should be using. If this were the right criteria then we probably would have already found someone offline.

It just seemed to me that if I could overcome these preconceived notions of what I wanted in a relationship partner, eHarmony would be the right place to do it. An online dating service that tries to take the long term worries off the table. A site, that if you can let go of those surface level dating type criteria we use everyday, where you could find that special someone. At least that is where I am right now.

I think that this idea has some validity. Since a year ago when I signed up other dating sites like PerfectMatch have emerged that are built around a personality test for compatibility. Even Yahoo! Personals, the biggest in the online dating market, have added what they call a Relationship test for Premier members of the site.

Well, they say that: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Or, is it that: Success breeds competition. Either way they sure talk a lot.

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Copyright © 2005-06 Jason J Griffin. eWooing is powered by WordPress. Template based off of Journalized Winter.

e·woo·ing v. To seek the affection of with intent to romance via online dating.

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August 2005
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