I have been using eHarmony for just over a year now. I want to start by explaining how eHarmony works before I go into what I like about this online dating site and what I think could be better. An understanding of the process by which they match people and how their system works is essential. Then we can break it down a little and see where they could make some changes and what I and other users could do to make the process work better.

The eHarmony site bills their site as more of a relationship site than a dating site. I tend to agree with this premise. Their site is definitely less about getting a bunch of dates. It is about putting you in contact with people that you are compatible with. Then you go about the journey of seeing if there is any chemistry. If there is, then you have a great foundation as to which to build an outstanding loving and lifelong relationship.

You are matched by taking their Personality Profile, which measures your compatibility with others in the eHarmony system. This profile provides you with an interesting look at yourself as well as attributes to look for in any potential partners. This is based on Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s 29 dimensions of compatibility.

Dr. Warren believes from his years as a relationship counselor and clinical psychologist, that compatibility in these 29 areas is the key to strong relationships that last. He has written multiple books over the years on the subject of relationships and strong marriages. The most recent being: Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons. Where he explains the 29 dimensions and more.

So, what are these 29 dimensions anyway? Well they fall into two categories. Core Traits and Vital Attributes. Your Core Traits are what make you, you. These do not tend to change much. The Vital Attributes are the things you pickup along the way through out your life, your experiences. These tend to change over your lifetime as life happens and you learn new things. Core Traits are broken down into Emotional Temperament, Social Style, Cognitive Mode and Physicality. The Vital Attributes are Relationship Skills, Values and Beliefs, and Key Experiences. For a complete understanding of each of the individual 29 dimensions check out the full explanation, “What are the 29 Dimensions?” at their site.

As a potential eHarmony user you go to the site and fill out the all the questions. For this process to be truly beneficial, you really need to take this part seriously. I mean this is how you are going to be matched with potential partners. I think it took me about 30 to 40 minutes to complete. Once this is completed you will be taken to your profile to read. Also, you are now entered into the pool of potential matches.

Now you decide whether to signup or not. Most likely you will not have too many matches if any at first. It took about 3 or 4 days before I was notified of my first few matches. That is when I signed up for the service.

Next: Once you are an eHarmony member, then what happens? For a continuing look into the eHarmony online dating service.